


The Slow Repair

by Lyoung_50



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Implied/Referenced Drug Use, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-24
Updated: 2013-10-24
Packaged: 2017-12-30 08:45:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 581
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1016535
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lyoung_50/pseuds/Lyoung_50
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"You can't stay." Dean's own words echoed around his head even hours after he'd whispered them at his best friend. The look of utter hurt, followed by the desperate laugh and 'Don't joke' had been like a punch in the gut. Cas waited for the punch line of cruel joke, until the door closed in his face.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Slow Repair

**Author's Note:**

> Hopefully this formats correctly, I wrote it on my phone.

"You can't stay." Dean's own words echoed around his head even hours after he'd whispered them at his best friend. The look of utter hurt, followed by the desperate laugh and 'Don't joke' had been like a punch in the gut. Cas waited for the punch line of cruel joke, until the door closed in his face.

He'd waited for almost an hour before opening the bunker door, half expecting to see a soaked, and shivering Cas staring back at him. But, he didn't. He saw only darkening sky, and heard only silence. He cursed under his breath, strode back in, and threw himself into a shower.

That's how he ended up here, curled up on the floor of the shower stall, with his knees pulled to his chest. The water had run cold after the first hour of sitting there, and his teeth chattered loudly as he rocked back and forth. Images of Cas dying ran through his mind like a train.

His voice cracked and rasped when he finally spoke. "Cas...I know ya can't hear me...but, I need you to try. I'm sorry...I'm so damn sorry. I can't let him die, Cas, but watching you leave killed /me/...so, just...stay safe. So you can come home.....cause, I love you."

He waited for the sound of wings. For the awkward "hello, Dean". But there was nothing. Cas was human. Cas couldn't hear him anymore. Part of him was grateful. This way, Cas could hate him. He hoped he did. Hating him was less painful then missing him.

Cas didn't call. He didn't try to contact him. All Dean could do was sit quietly on the corner of his bed, stewing in his own self-loathing. Zeke had made an appearance to tell him that he heard Dean cursing him. Loathing him. All Dean could say was "good. That's the idea. Heal my brother."

 

It is six months, eleven days, and twelve hours later that Dean finds Cas again. Or, at least, he assumes it's Cas. He's lost more weight, and his pupils are pinpricks from whatever is in the rolling paper smoking between his lips. He giggles, and slurs "hey, Dean". It's like a knife to the heart.

Zeke is gone, and Dean finally brings Cas to the bunker. Cas doesn't call it "home", yet. He's too stoned to say much of anything. It kills him, but Dean chains Cas in the dungeon to detox. He hears the screams. The wretches. The crying. They hurt, but...he almost sounds like Cas again.

It takes exactly three weeks for Cas to be able to come out of the dungeon. There are bruises on his wrists, and there's bags under his eyes, but he takes a sip of coffee, and he smiles at Dean over the mug, and Dean crumbles. He whispers "Cas...", and when he hears "hello, Dean", it feels like home.

It's a slow process, but eventually, they get back to almost normal. Cas sleeps in Dean's room because he has nightmares, and no one questions it. Cas brushes hair off Dean's forehead, and no one questions it. The morning that Cas kisses him over breakfast, Sammy just smiles.

The final piece falls into place when they're laying in /their/ bed one night and Cas quietly whispers "thanks for letting me come home, Dean". His eyes well, and he gets a thousand watt grin when he whispers back, "thanks for making it home again, Cas." ~End


End file.
